Am I Conceited or Confused?

OK, so, I have the strangest obsession with make-up. I like to test all kinds of different styles on myself. And then I take pictures, and post them up. Now, does this make me conceited? I would say not. But, why do I feel the need to experiment anyway? Maybe it's my creativity, or maybe it is something else. Some like a latent need for approval of my appearance. Maybe that is why I post the pictures. I am in search of approval. 









Maybe that is why so many girls post so many pictures of themselves. It isn't that they enjoy to look at themselves (although in some cases that might be true), they just want people to tell them that they are beautiful. And I don't blame them!! All girls hear today is that they aren't good enough. In fact that was all I got when I was in middle school. I was told I was practically a troll. And I believed them, so mabe I post these pictures to prove them wrong?

I'm not really sure why I cared about what they thought though....I guess, in the end, I just wanted to be accepted? To finally be acknowledged as some one pretty?

  I looked into everything, from lotion to hairspray. But what says that lotion makes us pretty? What says that styled hair is pretty? I want to be able to go outside like this (see below) and not have anyone look down on me cause I didn't try today.

But no. Because the world tells me this isn't acceptable, I more often than not feel that I have to actually try whenever I go out. Although...I am less and less feeling the need to do this. I still like to experiment with make up. But I don't feel like I have to. But I still like to dress up every now and again, just for the sake of dressing up even if I am not going any where. So am I conceited or confused? I have no idea!! xD

(Yes, I like red lipstick, in case you couldn't tell)